|DATING IN DUBAI: THE GOOD, THE BAD AND THE SIDE EYE|

Hey Dolls,

So this is the continuation of the previous post so… if you haven’t already done so, peep the first one here.

Right after the Engineer, I met the Gym Rat. To be quite frank with you guys, he isn’t worth a sub heading. He was a Brit living in Dubai and he literally spent all of his days at the gym.. just completely wasteful. I was on bloody holiday and I DID NOT appreciate the crappy healthy-as-fuck breakfast we went for on our date so, yeah – I’ll just leave it at that.

 

The Asian Persuasion

Rightio, so I didn’t get a chance to go on anymore dates after this guy because I had THREE dates with him! The first one was AMAZING. We went to eat at a really nice restaurant with the most beautiful view (in my humble opinion). I am a city girl and I really like to eat with a city skyline view – call me crazy but not every mountain view beats a good ol’ city view!.

The food was DELICIOUS.. I have vowed to go back again! We had shisha too.. the conversation was light and funny. I laughed so hard guys– but unfortunately, I simply did not find him sexually attractive (womp womp womp). Anyhow, he dropped me at the entrance to the hotel I was staying at and announced that he definitely wanted to take me out again.

I agreed to it and went to my room praying that I miraculously found this guy good looking by our next date. He wasn’t bad looking but you know when you just aren’t getting the sexy feeling off a guy – you don’t want to jump him and can’t bring yourself to perving on him? – well yeah, that’s what I was going through with this guy.

The second date we smoked a little shisha then hit the clubs. **Thanks Shameless Maya – you definitely came through on this one!**. I was always interested to go clubbing in Dubai. It feels like you’re doing the most naughtiest thing, in front of witnesses who just won’t tell on you. The bad thing is – the fucking club was a motherfucking smoking fest. Everyone in there and their great aunt was puffing their living shits off. You could hardly see anyone’s face with all the smoking that was going down. I definitely did some hardcore passive smoking that day – that mixed with the alcohol, gave my lungs and liver the night of their lives!

By the third date, it became quite painfully obvious that I had utterly and completely friend zoned the living crap out of Mr Asian Persuasion –  I simply could not do it guys. If this dude had half the balls the Engineer had.. things may have “developed” a bit more but nope.. just no VAVAVOOM.. not even in the slightest.

He drove us to the beach… we chilled a little then went to the cinema to watch Legend. After the cinema, we went to a really nice food place near my hotel. I was and am still obsessed with place. The array of vegetables and vegetable dishes was just pffwooarrrr!

Now… this is where the story gets turned upside down and I had what has now gone down as the WORST DATE of my life! Which, in hindsight is hilarious because I had just finished boasting to my workmates how I had never had a “bad date”. Dates that didn’t go anywhere – sure. But bad? – never.

We sat down in the blazing sauna that is the Dubai weather to eat. There were fans all over the gaff to stop customers from keeling over and just dying of heat. Now, when I say this guy started to sweat, I mean HE WAS SWEATING HIS BALLS OFF. – You know the kind of sweat you get after a 1hr cycle class with the instructor screaming their tits off at you, pushing you to cycle faster and faster and harder and harder? -That body bathing sweat you get?? Yup! – That. That is what was going down with this guy.

THEN (awww lordy) he had the audacity to take off his cap that was DRENCHED with his sweat and place it on top of our bread basket ON THE TABLE!!! So basically the bread was off the menu… *major side eye*. Then he continued to wipe the sweat off more with his BARE HANDS.. At this point, I am trying to work out how I can politely leave and go back to my hotel… I mean, it was only a 2 minute walk away..

The food came.. This guy sees the food, pushes the cutlery away and then proceeds to eat with HIS BARE FUCKING HANDS!!! — mate, the SAME hands he had just been wiping every sweat juice that was pouring from his body and forehead!!???… I was put off my food immediately. He went INNN on the food, acting as if the plate would magically grow some legs and make a run for it. As he was eating, the food in his hands kept on missing his lips and making its way back onto the plate.

THEN (yes guys, it gets worse).. He ASKED me if I wanted to try HIS food????? DA ACTUAL FUCK OF LIFE??!! ME, “try” HIS food??? Must be having an actual laugh right? Taking the Mick, the Mickey and the fucking Michael at this point.

I had to tell him that I felt like I was coming down with something. I really could not stomach this clown performance any longer. I am not a dining snob but dammit man! – How and WHY would you do this on a date?? It’s almost as if he was trying to purposefully put me off him. – I really hope he was because the alternative is him actually eating like this in public and that is just something I refuse to accept.

He took me back to my hotel and with 2 more days in Dubai to spare, I promised myself that I was not going to see him again. He tried to message me to link up one last time but I declined the offer.. this shit train was going nowhere any time soon, so why jump on it??

What have been some of your worst dates to date? Sharing is caring 😉

 

xoxo