I am not going to be cliche and address why I haven’t been posting in a while. Let’s just say I am shit person and an even shittier blogger – Yes? – Are we over it? Rightio, lets move on to todays bag of doodoo shall we?
Ok so this one is a little light hearted and quite funny in hind-sight (ONLY IN HINDSIGHT BECAUSE THIS SHIT PUT ME OFF LIFE AT THE TIME).
Okie dokes… When my mum dropped the bomb that her and her fiancé would be going to Dubai and dragging me with them this past October, it gave me some hardcore thinking to do. I was going to Dubai was two oldies who were completely in love. Attention on me was simply not going to happen.
A couple of days before we set off, I stumbled (as you do) on a YouTube video by Shameless Maya, who revealed that because she travels alone most of the time, she often signs into her Tinder profile when travelling. She claimed that it was the best way to see a city as essentially you get a free guide who knows all the cool, hip places, takes you to nice places to eat and buys you drink – Who wouldn’t want that aye?
As soon as we got to Dubai, being the eager beaver I was at the time (yes online dating can suck the living hope out of your soul that quickly), I took no time in setting up a Tinder profile. To my amazement, before, I could blink, I had a great array of potential guides to show me around Dubai!
This guy definitely put some work in at the gym – which surprised the living day lights out of me. I have dated THREE engineers in my life and lets just say, the gym, wasn’t exactly a favourite past time for any of them – which is ok I suppose because they all had height on their side :).
Meeting up with this guy was THE biggest hassle I have ever had to come across. I nearly gave up on Tinder in Dubai just for having to go through it. He told me who booked 3 hours off work so we could go for lunch and talk for a bit.. I lied to my mum and said I was meeting a “friend” (We had visited Dubai before and I made genuine friends so it wasn’t one of those hard to believe lies) and took a taxi to meet him at one of Dubai’s busiest train stations.
Now, I know how ridiculous that sounds and I am sure that many of you may blame me meeting him there for the reason why I experienced so much hassle meeting up with the Engineer BUT guys, seriously, how many times must a girl watch “Taken” before realising just how REAL human trafficking is?? I DO NOT have a father like the Liam Neeson character, and I WILL be sold to the highest bidder with no chances of being saved in the slightest so… I don’t know about you guys but being some random Arab guy’s 10th wife was not the life I saw for myself.
Anyhow… I gathered that meeting him in such a public place meant that I had a higher chance of witnesses seeing the abduction.. seeing as I was literally the only black person there, I definitely stood out.
When I got into his Jeep (I felt like a star), he was so amused by my standoffish nature about meeting him. “There is no crime in Dubai” – “No one thinks this way” – “Why would I kidnap you?” … MATE, maybe its the Londoner in me, but I sure as hell wasn’t going to take any chances.
The meal part was GREAT. This guy definitely played very good attention at those chivalry classes he so obviously took. I, looking hot (if I do say so myself) turned heads EVERYWHERE. Now, admittedly it was partly because I am black and seen walking with an Arab but seriously guys, these looks! It was definitely different from the ones I am used to when dating a white guy in the UK.. These looks were as though I was some type of trophy and my date had won big – admiration, awe.. slight jealousy. I found it HELLA funny! – He played along – holding my hand, guiding me to the restaurant by placing his hand gently yet firmly on my lower back.. pulling the chair out for me to sit down… Pffft.. definitely treated like a princess.
After the meal, we were merry and well talked out. I asked him to drop me at Dubai Mall as I had promised my mum I would meet her and her fiancé there for shopping and then dinner. We get his car, he opens the door to let me in and ass soon as a sit my ass down, his fingers grab my chin, pull my face closer to his and he plants me a long and intense snog. I was DEFINITELY not expecting this at all so this move certainly took me by surprise. I admired the mighty bulls he had to do it IN BROAD DAY LIGHT IN MOTHERFUCKING DUBAI WHERE KISSING IN PUBLIC IS A FUCKING JAIL SENTENCE AND A FINE!!!
After the most ballsy move of the century, he gets in the car and is like.. “Damn your lips! When I was sitting opposite you in the Restaurant, I was thinking if they were real so I just had to test them out. A lot of girls here get their lips done and as a guy, I can definitely feel the difference..” I’m like “Oh right.. umm so you had your test, I am glad I passed (it really was a good kiss guys – Top 5 for sure!), can you take me to Dubai Mall now?..
He pauses, my internal alarm bells go bat-shit-cray – “I was thinking we can go back to mine and I can finish tasting your lips” – “ummm… no that is not going to happen” – **thanks a lot Shameless Maya!!** – “Oh come orrn… we’ve had such an amazing time, lets finish it off right” – “Nope… still not going to happen. I can take a Taxi if you’d prefer? (I was not going to forget about Taken so quickly!!)” – “No, it’s ok, I will take you to Dubai Mall.” – “Cheers”.
Our drive to Dubai Mall was pleasant. The Engineer made plenty great recommendations as to what to see in Dubai and where else to dine out. I made good notes. When we got to Dubai Mall, we hugged and said our goodbyes. “When you’re next in Dubai, let me know and we’ll chill out” – “Yeah… sure (not going to happen mate)”.
EEEK…. So, I just realised how long this post is!! I guess I’ll have to talk about my other encounters on the next blog post… TO BE CONTINUED!